Fibbing Friday entry one!

So PCGuyIV and Di run this thing called Fibbing Friday, where each Friday they post questions and “the idea is to answer the questions below as imaginatively as possible. Just be sure your answers bend, stretch, break, or outright ignore the truth.” I thought – what’s more entertaining than making stuff up? So this Friday I’m taking part in this, too.

1. What do the abbreviations, B.C. and A.D. stand for?
   B.C. is, obviously, Before Choosing. It’s something you write under each position in a cafe menu, that contains information the customer should be aware of before ordering. It might be something like: “B.C. Beware! Milk skin can form on top of this drink”, or “B.C. Ordering this meal contributes to deforestation and soil erosion in Costa Rica.”
   A.D. means Alternative Denmark, a parallel world to that we’re living in. Everybody knows that Denmark is cool (hygge, sustainability and all), but Alternative Denmark is even cooler. It sports more beards, hipster coffee, and certainly has some cyberpunk aesthetics going on.
   
2. What do the abbreviations, B.C.E. and C.E. stand for?
   B.C.E. means “Before Cake Explodes” and is printed on the boxes of birthday cakes that are designed to explode when the solenizant blows the candles. These cakes are a thing of the future, the first one released for sale in 2041. (It took years to obtain the food safety certificate… though ‘food safety’ in this case gains a whole new meaning).
   C.E. is Central Europe, of course. There is nothing else this could mean. (Not to be confused with “P.R.C.” printed at the back of cheap plastic toys).
   
3. What were “The Wars of the Roses?”
   “The Wars of the Roses” refers to the ideological battle between Rosa Luxemburg, a Polish Marxist philosopher, and Vivienne Rosa, who was a French Catholic activist who organised rosary rallies that were meant to protect Old Europe from the socialist revolution. The two never corresponded personally, but sent in letters to a controversial magazine called New Europe. All the copies of the magazine, however, have been burnt.
   
4. Where was the Kingdom of Prussia located?
   Kingdom of Prussia stretched from the Oder River to Kamchatka. The name was a shortened form of “Polish Russia”, a kingdom that was created when the Polish king conquered all of Russia. The Kingdom didn’t exist for long because the king was quite disappointed with the barren, empty lands that made up most of Russia.
   
5. According to the account in Genesis, what happened at the Tower of Babel?
   The Tower of Babel was built by Polish developer companies. Following its completion, a group of protesters gathered on top of the Tower to declare the spelling mistake in the name of the building. They argued it should be “Tower of Babyl”, short for “Babylonia”. This resulted mainly because they were in possession of the badly translated edition of the Bible, published by father Tadeusz Rydzyk.
   The Tower looked very similar to the one below the questions.
   
6. What artistic style is Pablo Picasso famous for?
   Picasso was a digital artist, primarily known for his style developed using Picasa (now discontinued software released by Google). He would download various images off of random Picasa albums and combine them into realistic collages that represented worlds which nonetheless broke the rules of physics.
   
7. January 6th was two days ago. What makes it special?
   It’s the only day that could otherwise be transcribed as all of the following: 601, 016, 16, 61, and 6I.
   
8. In the comic strip, Calvin & Hobbes, who or what is Hobbes?
   I’ve never read the comic strip, but everybody knows that Hobbes is a hybrid of Patrick Geddes and L. Ron Hubbard. The character is known for establishing the church of Calvinology and having some avantgarde ideas on city planning, which he made use of when planning a settlement for the followers of his religion.
   
9. The song, “Home on the Range” asks for a home where what two animals play?
   Rabbit and fox. The “range” refers to the shooting range.

Edit: whoops! I forgot one, here it is:

What event triggered the start of the U.S. Civil War?
It was of course the disagreement on which group of immigrants (the early immigrants, not the 20th century ones) made better bread – the Germans or the Poles. (Of course everyone should know that Polish cuisine is better).